So you have been asked to go to a training day. You are healthcare professional, complaints manager, a teacher perhaps in a school, or you work in the housing department at a council maybe? You work hard. You have too many tasks for the hours allocated. You are a conscientious worker and you have your own family and personal life to manage. Maybe you are a manger with targets and budgets to keep? And you are being sent on empathy training!
“Hold on” you say to yourself,
“I care about people”.
“I am already empathic”.
“I don’t need some empathy training person telling me something else I need to do better”
“Give me more time to do my job and I will do all you want”.
Maybe you have and maybe you haven’t felt similar feelings about a conference presentation or training day. You would not be alone though if you have. Managing professional duties and our own emotions is sometimes a tough thing to do and wouldn’t be great if we could always have things in our life under control and sorted?
Trained in counselling, I often get people assuming that I have. That I have always have and indeed can with ease, control my emotions. That I am always ‘sane’ whatever that means?! And to be training in empathy, well I must be even more so! Well what I want you to do right now is knock me and any other psychological therapy trainer good and hard off any preconceived pedestal. Why?….well simple put. we all started off like this
Yes, a human baby
Not this………..A professional…………………..
We are an emotionally driven human being! Before anything else. And my route into counselling and indeed training in empathy has come from a very emotionally human perspective indeed.
When I deliver my training course, delegates are told, right at the very beginning, that this training is about being human first. Empathy is not a new phenomenon, nor is the idea of emotional self development, but my life has thrown many a curve ball at me. Sometimes I have handled these curve balls in an exemplar way and sometimes in a way that the word ‘sane’ would be questionable.
And to assist delegates to engage with, understand and develop empathy my approach is to gain a human connection with each and everyone of them.
So the 3 truths to empathy training for my company C&C Empathy Training are these……….
#1 Being real.
#2 Being authentic.
#3 Being transparent.
Empathy, for me is, at it’s best, trying to see and I mean really see another persons world with acceptance and not judgement. That’s why I lay so much of my experiences, like the death of child in hospital and all the difficult feelings and reactions that go with that on the line for all who attend my training or hear me speak at a conference. And I start this process before I even start on empathy. This real, authentic and transparent approach creates a human connection with those on the training. We are all human beings. This real, authentic and transparent approach gives an evaluation tool to safely understand true empathy, its importance and why developing it and managing it is a great human skill to have.
And here is the great thing for me…being these 3 things within empathy training, develops me more too.
So being human first and remembering everyone else is human too. We all will excel, we all will react badly. We all will feel proud sometimes and not others. We all will have conscious and unconscious processes going on. And, unless on the pathological extreme narcissistic scale, we all share the need to be accepted and understood and have the capabilities to accept and understand each other.
Thank you for spending time with me and reading this blog.
I would be delighted to welcome you, your staff or colleagues on one of my training days, or to speak at a staff conference.
As a thank you for reading my blog, I would be very pleased to offer you a 20% discount of any training/conference speaking by quoting CCET20blog. Or email me for group discounts.
“Carolyn skilfully engages any audience, from a single individual to a large conference, not just providing inspiration, but with her passion, galvanising it into motivation, enabling and supporting health professionals to improve their practice”. Christopher Fincken, Chair of the the UK Council of the Caldicott Guardians.
Description: I has been public speaking since 2006 about the emotional side of health and social care on many subjects, reaching audiences including government officials, medical and legal professionals, advocates, junior medics, complaints staff and members of the public.
“Three out of four investigations by hospitals into complaints that patients suffered avoidable injury or death fail to identify serious failings in care, leaving distraught families in the dark.” Julie Mellor Parliamentary Health Ombudsman, Dec 2015
Description: A one-day course for ideal for those working with families raising an initial concern or following the official complaints procedure. Delegates will develop the unique insight to the emotional motivations often behind complaints and conflict and how empathy can help learn lessons and reach meaningful resolutions, for organisations and individuals.
‘Empathy Training for working in care home settings’ training program under development and available soon.
‘Empathy Training to effectively support schools with loss, grief, fear and sadness issues’ training program under development and available soon.