Blog: Red and yellow will never make green

A benefit of having counselling and psychology training before you go through watching someone you love die and feeling that opportunities may have been missed (as I had), is that you have tools to unpick some of the complex emotions evoked and reactions experienced.

You ask questions of not only the facts, but the reactions of the individuals involved, the organisation, culture and indeed of your own reactions.  Whilst obscured for a time by shock and grief, a strong sense of empathy and my own emotional development, as is imperative within psychological therapy training, enabled me to slowly see both the world of the medical team and indeed the Trust.

I needed to understand their hospitals reactions, despite how wrong it all felt and knowing the need to still challenge them. This in turn, enabled me, to understand what barriers might be preventing, what felt like the most important thing in the world…honesty and compassion.

However, skills of empathy toward me were missing greatly from the staff and organisation at large, which appeared, unable to look after my well-being in any way, let alone giving me any confidence that they cared enough about what happened to investigate well.

As a consequence, conflict, anger and distrust manifested itself, and further far reaching damage prevailed.  Preventing psychological harm to me and my family, was not, it appeared on anyone’s radar, apart from mine, and as we hear over and over again, is still not a priority in practice.

At its most basic level, the Trust not wishing to hear the basic facts that I witnessed, demonstrated no empathy to me for what had happened, what I had seen and what I was left handling. Compromising not only my well-being but any chance of ‘lessons learnt’ Continue reading

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